For most people, “home” is not a troubling word. For me, “home” has been confusing for the past 5 years. Five years ago, Ghana became as much of my home as Pennsylvania is. I think that is why it wasn’t very difficult or surprising for people to understand why I moved to Ghana right after I graduated college.
Living in Ghana has been the most challenging and eye-opening experience of my life. I want to be blunt and say that living in a developing country is HARD. Even when living in the city with Uber, pizza, and hot water, living in Ghana can be lonely and stressful.
Last week, I was having a bad morning and made a decision to come home to America. To be honest, this is a thought that I had been having for a few weeks but I was struggling to figure out what I really wanted versus what I actually needed. Living on my own right out of college has been an emotional experience. I have learned so much about myself and the rest of the world. I have become so much stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have gained perspective and self-confidence. I feel unapologetically bold and beautiful for the first time in my life and there is no way I could feel this way if I had not lived in Ghana. The truth of the matter at this moment is that I really sad at making the decision to come home, even though I know it is what I need right now. I think that being an adult is being able to differentiate our desires and our necessities. Though being in Ghana is what I want right now, it is not what I need. The positive side is that making the decision to come home gave me the clarity to make this distinction.
I love Ghana. I love living in Ghana. Despite the difficult things, it has been the best experience of my life.
So you’re probably wondering “what happens now?”
I do have hopes and potential plans to move back to Ghana in a few months. But for right now, I am planning to work and enjoy the time that I have in America. I am going to continue working on myself so that if and when I do move back to Ghana, I am even stronger than I was before. I have so incredibly supportive friends in Ghana and in America and I am truly blessed with a family who has been loving and understanding at my unexpected and unexplained need to come home. I imagine that some people will find it crazy that I want to go back to GH, but the truth is, if God gives me the time and the opportunity for me to move back, it will be a decision I make for myself and for my future and I am so proud to be in control of that.
As for right now, I feel incredibly at ease and I am excited to see what happens in the next few months. Whichever “home” I am in, I am lucky to have it.
So much love.